my ideal weight is the weight of me holding eight puppies
'girlfriend' by avril lavigne came out seven years ago
i don’t like your fun fact
I think you need to stop that
My sister just started laughing hella hard and i go into the room to see whats shes laughing at and she just points to this picture
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
"It’s pronounced like jif"
Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck
why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
why is a girl smoking considered soft grunge
why is anything considered soft grunge
what is soft grunge
you son of a mumford